Tent Poles and Outdoorgasms

New Lad is camping. In the rain. I have never been so happy to not be at an event to which I was invited.

And that’s how I know I made the right call — there are exactly two people I’d ever want to camp with in a dating sense, especially in the rain. I’m not a camping girl by nature (campy, yes, but not camping), but spending time with them is always so fun that they make me want to try things I wouldn’t do on my own. (Not to mention the thought of smooching under the stars at night while getting soaked by summer rain makes my knees weak. And I can’t even imagine how sexy I’d look trying to hush during tent sex.)

With New Lad, I think I’d have to go poke a bear with a stick just so we didn’t have to stare at each other trying to come up with things to talk about. (“How are you repeating stories already? I’ve only been with you for two weeks and we hardly ever talk. Go poke that bear with a stick and get a new story!”)

Plus, New Lad wouldn’t even go to a restaurant with me while it was raining. He’d check the weather every time we went out, as if meteorology is an actual science. I’d hate to see the pouting that ensues when weather screws up his Wilderness Girl vibe.

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