“Can I offer you some DICK?”…continued.

Conversation with a male friend about a message I got on Facebook from another male friend asking me if I wanted “to hang out sometime”:

Me: “The Girl Contingent has advised me to delete him from Facebook, but I’d feel bad.  If he skeeves me one more time, though, I’m out. By the way, was that a date request? I thought he was just looking for a friend in the area, but I told Ex-Factor that and he gave me an eyebrow, like it’s adorable how oblivious I am to the Attentions of Men.”

Him: “Yeah, that was most definitely a date request. I feel like you have two options: delete him or tell him in no uncertain terms ASAP that it ain’t gonna happen. Otherwise I think it has the potential to get worse before it gets better.”

Me: “Holy shit, are you serious? That’s ballsy. I really thought he was just looking for friends. No. Just…no. I can’t date anyone more inept than I am.”

Him: “I mean, only he knows for sure …. I’m just basing this off the assumption that he’s interested in you given he may have subtly propositioned you in the past and how much he tries to interact with you on Facebook. Perhaps he’s casting a line out there seeing if you’ll bite.”

Me: “Nope. Nooooope. I’m not biting anything for him. I’m not sure how, exactly, but I’m pretty sure I’ll get stupider if I let him touch me.”

EDIT: I sent the invitation to “bowling” verbatim to another male friend, who said, “Yeah, you could easily replace every line of his in that conversation with ‘would you like some dick?’ and lose no context.”