Like a dirty, dirty treasure hunt…

I feel bad for guys who don’t know what it’s like to have a sexual partner just…worship their penis. That’s a damn shame. It turns me on so much to make a guy feel good, to see what works and what makes him react. And ladies, your playmate should revere your lovely lady flower as well. S/he should build altars to it, for it is magical up in there.

I had a friend tell me recently that she thinks performing oral sex is degrading to women. It can be, sure, if you’re blowing a douchebag. And by all means, if you feel degraded (and if that’s not your kink), step away from the penis. Hang a mental “Do Not Resuscitate” warning on it and walk away. That dick — the person and the appendage — does not deserve you.

But for me, I can be on my knees and servicing and still feel like I have allll the power in the situation. Usually, the men are so happy and appreciative! Sure, I’ve had some bad experiences, but I stopped blowing those guys because they were obviously assholes. (Point of interest: I’m not often on my knees. I usually suggest that the guy lie back and savor, rather than trying to remain standing. He can still make supine suggestions if he needs to, put his hand in my hair and guide me, what have you. But I want him to sit back, relax, and revel. Same reasons I prefer to be lying down when he goes down on me — I don’t want to have to worry about keeping my balance, especially since my legs tend to go all floopy once all the blood rushes to my ladybits.)

The last time I had the opportunity to pleasure a man orally, it was the second time I’d done it with that individual. And while approaching the region, I said innocently, “Now, if I recall correctly, it’s right…here that feels good…?” and then licked the place I remembered had produced an audible gasp the night before. Poor guy almost had a seizure. I think if I’d asked him to buy me a car right then, he would have. Fortunately, I am not a Whore For Honda, so really, the full-body tremble was reward enough. (Plus, if he has enough energy to sign car paperwork, I clearly didn’t do it correctly.)

Pay attention, y’all. Let people know what makes you happy. Talk about it, moan, gasp, twitch — whatever. Let your People know when they’ve hit a Good Place, and be mindful of when you hit theirs.

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