A friend diagnoses me:
Me: “This is a disturbing cycle I keep repeating.”
Friend: “You’re unhappy with yourself, so you can’t respect anyone who likes you. Or he’s just a clingy goober.”
Me: “Well, shit. You just saved me $75 in therapy.”
Friend: “Well, let’s say I saved you $25.”
Me: “Because self-hatred is only one-third of my problem?”
Smug Singleton 