True friendship via psychoanalysis.

A friend diagnoses me:

Me: “This is a disturbing cycle I keep repeating.”

Friend: “You’re unhappy with yourself, so you can’t respect anyone who likes you. Or he’s just a clingy goober.”

Me: “Well, shit. You just saved me $75 in therapy.”

Friend: “Well, let’s say I saved you $25.”

Me: “Because self-hatred is only one-third of my problem?”

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