Do you have a Tamagotchi, too?

PSA: If we “broke up,” you don’t get to text me dumbass LOL cat pics anymore. They weren’t funny when we were sleeping together, so I’m sure as hell not sending you a perfunctory “LOL” if I’m not getting an orgasm or 12 out of it.

Also? LOL cats are srsly 2000 and LATE, and that’s coming from someone who just said “srsly 2000 and LATE.”

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