Greetings from the Drakkar Vortex.

In a fog of a male coworker’s cologne this morning at work, I am reminded of how much I adore and completely get off on the smell of a man just out of the shower. Maybe wearing deodorant, if you had time to put it on before I grabbed you and had my way with you.

Gentlemen. You smell amazing. Ease back on the Axe. Those commercials lie — I can’t get it up for you if I feel like someone punched me in the chest. I’m not one to science, but I don’t think that’s how pheromones work.

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