In which I propose a National Dick Day.

Bitchy texting with a friend about an ex’s Facebook posts about his backyard garden:

Me: “I like gardening, and I love tomatoes and all their cognates. How is he making tomatoes so boring?”

Friend: “Because he’s the kind of man that would take a dick day to sit in the house all day watching Pawn Stars instead of fucking, going out to eat, going for a walk, going to a museum, cooking with you, playing naked Twister, taking turns reading dirty Internet fan fiction, or ANYTHING more interesting.”

Me: “Fair. Also, I know what you meant, but how great would a ‘dick day’ be?”

Friend: “Well, technically it should have been a ‘dick day,’ he’s just dumb.”

(NB: Still better than that time a guy looked past my lingerie-clad 20-year-old body because I was standing in the way of pro wrestling on TV.)

4 thoughts on “In which I propose a National Dick Day.

  1. that time a guy looked past my lingerie-clad 20-year-old body because I was standing in the way of pro wrestling on TV.
    Wait, WHAT?

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