Group text:
Friend 1: “I feel like in the last few years I’m really ‘feeling’ my hormones.”
Friend 2: “I spent the better part of this morning crying. I’m ovulating. I am my hormones’ bitch.”
Me: “I always feel hormonal, too. It’s new, I didn’t used to. It’s fucking irritating. I might have to accept that I’m just insane. To that end, I want low-dose Zoloft in my drinking water.”
Friend 1: “That would be amazing! In the Divergent series, one of the factions basically does that. They put some calming drug in the bread to keep the people calm and happy.”
Me: “They do it in Serenity, too, in the air. Everyone dies, though, so results may vary, I guess.”
Friend 2: “And some become crazy murder machines. I’m still 15 minutes away from finishing Divergent book one. I had to get past my anger at a character death I knew was coming. Internet spoilers. :(”
Friend 1: “Stupid internet. What’s it good for?”
Me: “Porn? Passive aggression? More porn?”
Friend 2: “Time wasting? And yes, SO MUCH PORN.”
Friend 1: “Porn is awesome.”
Smug Singleton 