Emailing with friends…
Friend 1: “I was just thinking about how Scalia claims he doesn’t know any ladies who know foul language. I would like for an all-women chorus to go caroling at his house and sing the old South Park hymnal ‘Shut Your Fucking Face, Unclefucker.'”
Friend 2: “I like to think Ruth Bader Ginsberg has a terrible potty mouth and says ‘fuck’ an awful lot.”
Me: “She totally does. And under her robe she wears a saucy red dress.”
Friend 1: “I love you guys.”
OK, obviously I have Serious Grownup Thoughts about this, but that’s not what this site is for. So to that end…
1. Was anyone else genuinely surprised to learn Hobby Lobby still existed? (I think it’s just the area I live in — my nearest HL location is 30 miles away.)
2. I’m just saying, the less time and money women spend growing and raising children, the more time and money we can spend crafting. CRAFTING FOR JESUS. #BusinessSolutions
I know it’s in fun, I know I’m a harpy buzzkill, but…goddamn, I hate this bullshit.
A new boy started working at my office today. I was perhaps going to set about seeing him naked. But I Facebook stalked him, and he’s engaged.
You know, I’m really wasting pretty here. Can we please hire someone who can bend me over my desk after hours?
Chatting with the ex about a few family things…
Him: “Man, your family… Are you…just…? I knew you were the ‘normal’ one, kind of, but damn.”
Best compliment ever.
This happens to me all the time.
Texting with a friend who tells me I’m too modest:
Me: “I thought you’d be amused to know my cleavage is making me uncomfortable today (disloyal shirt is shifting), and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Friend: “Think of it as spreading joy to others.”