A nice, gentlemanly first message from someone on OKCupid?
I don’t understand. I mean, that sentence is clearly English, yet I don’t know how to process it.
Where are the overtures of buttsex with which I’m so familiar? Nothing about my vagina at all?
I think he’s a unicorn.
Or maybe he’s just being a gentleman and he’s saving the offer of anal for the second email. Yeah, that’s probably it.
Oh, and let me save y’all some time. Ahem…
“What are you doing on a dating site? You are emotionally fucked six ways to Sunday! You have intimacy, daddy, and trust issues — that’s the trifecta! You are destined to die alone and sexually frustrated. What the hell are you doing?!”
All valid concerns, and rest assured, I’ve been over them. Haven’t solved a one of ’em, but…um… The first step is admitting you have a problem?