I may regret asking this…
I’m on OKCupid just checking things out. I don’t have a photo, but my profile is complete in a standard-issue way — entertainment choices, etc.
Why am I getting messages from guys based on this? I could be, like, a big giant guy, living in my mom’s basement, creating Catfish profiles and masturbating myself to sleep with my Cheeto-dust-encrusted hands.
Mmm, Cheetos… Sorry, what was I saying?