In happier news, a super-sexy re-blog.

Via Clickhole: 5 Tips to Fuck Good

Save the “pork” for your bills, Senators…

Um… I’ve SEEN the male Senators, Democrat and Republican — ugly is a bipartisan problem. Maybe first buy a leg to stand on before you talk shit on anyone’s appearance?

Senate Pigs Called Kirsten Gillibrand ‘Porky’

Watch it, Onion. That’s bone you’re scraping there…

Via The Onion: Study Finds All-Consuming Self-Pity Best Way To Win Back Ex-Partner

Arach-NO-phobia

I just overheard a young female coworker call out loud to a male coworker and have him come to her desk and kill a spider.

1. Really?

2. I understand it’s nice to feel needed, but…spiders? I’ll kill my own spiders, thanks. Can I have a hug, though? That’s what I need men for. (That and dick, but I was trying to keep it classy for once… I just ruined it, didn’t I?)

3. The girl is maybe 25, and she’s adorable. Does that make it cuter? I’m 38 and average-looking, so I have a feeling, if I did that, Dude-Bro would tell me to kill my own fucking spider.

3. Really?

Rape-drug-detecting nail polish backlash

From Jessica Valenti: Why is it easier to invent anti-rape nail polish than find a way to stop rapists?

I get what she’s saying, really. I agree, we should find a way to stop rapists. Absolutely. Let’s do exactly that.

However, WHILE we’re working on that incredibly complex problem, whatever makes one guy re-think drugging a woman’s drink, or prevents ONE woman from ingesting the drugs, or gets us recognizing sexual assault as an issue and educating each other, I’m on board. Will this stop all rape? No. Don’t be ridiculous, it’s nail polish. But if it prevents ONE? Or even if it just sparks another conversation or bit of awareness (which it has)? Worth it.

I absolutely see why people are pissed about it, though, how it makes it the woman’s responsibility, and in the WORST fucking way, too. One of the headlines I read: “Look Great and Stay Safe with ‘Date Rape’-Detecting Nail Polish.” (Not a joke. “Date rape” really was in quote marks like it’s not a thing.) And the first line of another ABC article was “Pretty nails may be the newest way to foil date rape.” I understand that that’s a problem, truly. That is, in scientific terms, some bullshit.

But the polish itself? Good on you, NC State students. You kids today with your science. The USA Today article I read said “55% of about 1,570 colleges and universities with more than 1,000 students received at least one report of forcible sex offense on campus in 2012. From 2010 to 2012 there were 14 forcible sex offenses reported on NC State’s campus.” If that number drops even a little as a result of this, then I’m calling it a success. Should we be doing more? Certainly. So let’s DO more, but don’t dismiss a few industrious college kids for trying.

Catcall it a day, gentlemen…

Via Playboy:

Discerning Dairy Dating Dogma

Reasons I’ve Clicked “Pass” on OKCupid Profiles: Food Edition

— He writes too much about his healthy eating habits. (I do OK, but sometimes you need a damn cookie.)
— He referred to wings and ribs as “guy food.” Screw you, sir. Every woman I know will fuck some wings and ribs UP.
— He doesn’t like cheese. How do you not like cheese? I might date a vegan, because they don’t eat cheese for ethical/health reasons — I get that. But you don’t LIKE it? Have you HAD cheese? Are you sure? The words you’re using appear to be English, yet I do not understand.

“Sex tape averted!”

Yes, yes. A great time for women…

“What a great time for women on television.”
– Julianna Margulies

Um… Did you just see Sofia Vergara become a human statuette and get applauded for her ass?

Just checking. (Not gonna lie, though — that ass is worth applause.)

Science!

Students Develop Nail Polish That Can Detect Date Rape Drugs