Reasons I’ve Clicked “Pass” on OKCupid Profiles: Crimes Against English Edition, Part 1*
— He said “I shine organically,” and wasn’t joking.
— His favorite artist was “m.c. usher.” (The site doesn’t ask anything about art. He just volunteered this info, presumably so we’d get artsy ladywood for his worldliness and culture.)
— He said “anyways.”
— He said “YOLO.”
— His profile used text speak. After my fifth “How r u?” message, I added “Sorry, I don’t speak text” to my profile.
*Let it be noted that I’ve never claimed to be a rational human being. You know that episode of Friends where we find out Chandler once broke up with a woman for saying “supposably?” That’s apparently the life phase I’m in.