All you have to do is give Smug a chance, and now I’m gonna do my dance.

“Also told ya that I like to bite,
Well, yeah, I guess it’s obvious, I also like to write.”

I’m not attributing this, because you should know. In your SOUL.

#TGIT! Let’s do this, People!

“Work helps. So does exercise. Stuff that numbs you, keeps you from thinking too much. It also helps to remember that he hates you, and it helps to try to hate him too.”
— Olivia Pope

White pajamas, wine and popcorn at the ready. Less than 2 hours until I no longer have to #CopeWithoutPope!

S&M Bear lived on the outskirts of Care Bear Village…

Dear Reader,

Is your significant other into S&M, furries, and terrible wannabe-Twilight fan fiction?

I just made your Valentine’s Day shopping easier than me after two martinis. You’re welcome.

Love,
Smug

Vermont Teddy Bear Fifty Shades of Grey Bear

Last re-blog today: Plus-Size Model Creates #EffYourBeautyStandards Movement

Get it, girl.

Via Buzzfeed: The Biggest Plus-Size Model To Get A Major Contract Created The #EffYourBeautyStandards MovementI’m gonna need that haircut, STAT, and all the makeup she has on, and also an eyebrow transplant. (Because, obviously, “You have really good eyebrows.”)

Ahem. This is what’s known as missing the point of a movement encouraging you to disregard standards of beauty.

Whatever, I left off the part where I also want a nosejob now. Oh, wait…

Re-blog: Writing Your Way to Happiness

Via the NYT Well Blog: Writing Your Way to Happiness:Told y’all writing was my therapy. I’m a little pissed that this apparently makes me just like everyone else. But a) I already knew that, and b) given the familial evidence at hand, I think journaling may be the only thing that makes the women in my family shut the fuck up once in a while, so there’s that.

Re-blog: 30 Best Pop Culture Spinsters

Via Flavorwire: 30 Best Pop Culture Spinsters

“But she only comes when she’s on top…”

1. Thanks, but I’ll risk it.

2. How do I get involved in this field of scientific research?

‘Woman on top’ is most dangerous sex position, scientists conclude

Ugh. Just stop it. Please?

Daily Mail headline/lede via Google News:

“Chelsea Clinton shows off post-baby body at the Clinton Foundation Day of Action: Chelsea Clinton showed up ready to get her hands dirty at a Palm Springs volunteer event Sunday where the mom of just four months looked impressively slim and self-assured in a close-fitting t-shirt, skinny jeans and an unmistakable pair of cowboy boots.”

Ahem… Fuck you. Just because.

(I know, it’s Daily Mail, but…ugh.)

Late-night Feels Post

I’ve been meaning to get this out for a while, so here goes…

I’d really enjoy some indication that, at some point, I will stop genuinely wondering what I’m even doing trying to live my life apart from my ex.

I know I’ll LIVE; it’s not that dramatic. But some days it just doesn’t make sense. My brain will just stop and think, “Wait, I did WHAT? Well, that’s just ridiculous. Go home. Go home right now.”

It’s been 2 years. Can that stop? I’d really like to stop feeling like he’s just on a trip or working odd hours, or like I’m just in some alternate universe where I can sleep with other people if I want to.

At least there are also days I’m able to see the logic and not just the emotion, when the prospect of “someone else” doesn’t seem completely absurd. I have zero interest, since I’m emotionally fucked six ways to Sunday, but maybe eventually. And it’s not like he’s not in my life. He’s just not in my home…which makes it hard to even say “home” and have that mean anything.

Ugghhhh, goddammit…

*shaking head*

ONWARD.

Revisiting “Gilmore Girls”

Lorelai: “She thinks I need a man.”
Luke: “You do. One with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of Freud.”