Whatever, Thursday, you’re not defeating me. Wanna know why?
1. My company closes early today and — here’s the kicker — we might actually GET out early, which is just unheard of.
2. I don’t have to set an alarm clock, wear makeup, OR WEAR PANTS tomorrow if I don’t want to
3. This dress I have on? I bought it specifically because I tried it on and my ass looked amazing, like someone had replaced my standard sad pancake butt with two delightful, fluffy croissants.
So blow me, Thursday. You’re just Friday’s little bitch-sister. No one is ever happy it’s Thursday. They’re happy it’s “almost Friday.” Yeah, I said it. Why don’t you quit trifling with me and go reevaluate your own life?
Smug Singleton 