I would put a ring on her.

This is a shitty quality video, but Aisha Tyler dressed up as BeyoncĂ© and lip synched “Single Ladies” and it’s the only video I could find of the whole thing and I HATE that song, but regardless, I am slightly more in love with her now.

There are women who WANT a ring on it who don’t love this as much as I do.

Carry on.

INXS “Kick” you right in the feels

Speaking of working past perfectly good elements of pop culture weighed down by the emotion I associate with them…

Last night I found myself caught off-guard when I saw this new Apple ad during Scandal, featuring an older song I’d been avoiding pretty successfully.

A million years ago, I teased a man in the most delicious way for the duration of this song after he told me it made him think of me.

“You gonna go your whole life scared of that song? It’s just a song. Don’t make it a monster.”*

I’m playing it in full now, because suck it, fuckface — it was my song first.

*Quote from Silver Linings Playbook

Lessons from The Great Pumpkin

Charlie Brown really was “friends” with mostly assholes.

Linus just learned not to fuck with a woman and her candy.

Sally, meanwhile, got her first bit of tragic foreshadowing re: men disappointing her.

DS&M

Via BPhope: Opening the door on hypersexuality: 

I don’t have bipolar. Or, if I do, it’s a really shitty bipolar — they’re still working out my special-snowflake nomenclature. (I tried making “White Trash Bipolar” happen, but oddly, they don’t want that in the DSM.) But it hadn’t occurred to me until I read this that a) none of the doctors I’ve been to have asked about any sexual behaviors at all, or that b) it might even be related.

And I can’t say I talk about my vagina online and regret the entirety of 2013 and slut-shame myself because it’s NOT a factor. (JUST a factor, like I’m not trying to say I have this, either.)

I have friends tell me they could GET me “just sex,” but that they won’t, because it’s not really what I want and I’ll make it a Thing and feel bad about myself and they don’t want to hear it. But I still do consider bringing in a stunt dick to scratch that particular itch. My friends are right, though — I’d need some kind of daily therapy lightning round if I did, and I can’t afford that, so… tense and pent-up it is! 

*twitch* No, really. It’s fine…