A fun post to balance the feels…

When I did the burlesque class a couple weeks ago, apart from being inherently rigid and prim, I also couldn’t really get into any of the music. I’d never heard any of the songs before, and the instructor kept looking at me like, “Bitch, what music do you need to relax your stupid, uptight hips?”

THIS. I needed this. Bring me back that chair — I’ll make it my bitch. I could burlesque the shit out of this.

“Run your fingers through my hair,
I want you to touch me there,
But I will not open up my thighs
When you’ve got bourbon in your eyes,
You’re the one that makes me smile,

And I know you’d make it worth my while,
But she’s waiting for you and I think she cries,
When you’ve got bourbon in your eyes.”

Or, hey, if we’re going for something more (incredibly) obvious, can I get a little Aguilera up in here?

“You’ve been a bad bad boy
I’m gonna take my time, so enjoy
There’s no need to feel no shame
Relax and sip upon my champagne
‘Cause I wanna give you a little taste
Of the sugar below my waist, you nasty boy…”

COME ON.

New plan for the evening: My own burlesque playlist and workout. I have Sex Kitten capacities, dammit. I am a WANTON, SULTRY STRUMPET! HMPH! (Just…you know, don’t look at me or anything. Because then I just get awkward. And not in a cute, Deschnanelly way — it’s got a li’l Gollum on it, frankly.)

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