Theory: abbreviated words = abbreviated sex.

Aw, you guys!

I got a message from this guy on OkCupid asking, “u dtf?”

So, listen, it’s been fun and all, but I probably can’t write this blog anymore now that I’ve found the love of my life. I should really go start shopping for my wedding dress.

#MyLobster

I just mentioned the other day that all those shirtless dudes were looking for “DTF” girl. And I totally AM “DTF” — I will bang you like a gavel, that’s just not how you get me to do it. You can’t get in my pants with abbreviations; it feels like you’re not motivated enough to fuck me to completion.

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