I do not like “Wham bam, thank you, ma’am.” I do not like it, Sam, damn.

OkCupid emails you a little preview whenever you get a new message.

Aaand sometimes that preview is all you need…  
There’s two fucking feet of snow on the ground, shitheel. I’m not going outside for anyone’s dick.

To his credit, his VERY first message said, “Hi I am sam how are you doing​,” so he was totes chivalrous about it. The hotel thing came two minutes later. As I suspect he would.

(Also…”I am Sam?” Nope. Nooope. I didn’t even change his name like I usually do because it was just too good.)

5 thoughts on “I do not like “Wham bam, thank you, ma’am.” I do not like it, Sam, damn.

  1. *cracks up laughing*
    *picks self up off floor*
    *starts laughing again*
    Dude seriously thinks you’re going to drive in this weather for a guy you’ve never met before?
    (I get that the opportunity cost to the dudes involved for such asshaberdashery is minimal, and maybe if they’re lucky, they get a positive response 1 time out of 100, but I can’t stop asking myself, who is that one woman who says ‘sure, I’ll drive through a blizzard for no strings attached sex with a guy I don’t know’?)

    • Right? I really don’t get that, even from HIS perspective. Like, how do you know my profile photos aren’t from 10 years or 50 lbs ago? How do you know I don’t talk like Fran Drescher? Maybe I have a tail. How can you possibly want to sleep with me without meeting me?

      • I’m pretty sure this is the online incarnation of the guy who asks every female with a pulse if she’s DTF.

      • Honestly, in person, I understand that. If that’s what you’re down for, you do you. At least then you could see my actual face/body, not just the flattering photos I chose for an online profile.

        People are weird.

      • Agreed. I say that at least once a day.
        (Hope it’s clear this is replying to your second comment… for some reason WordPress is only giving me a ‘reply’ button on the first.)

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