The bad news: I had to postpone the other OkCupid date I had scheduled tomorrow. I still have residual plague and it really wouldn’t be cute if I were coughing up my entire lung over coffee.
The good news: Now there’s time to get my hair cut and colored, get various waxes and a manicure like I’m an Actual Woman, and for my menstrual cycle to end, because I’m definitely not above third base on a first date. (He gives good text; he can skip ahead a bit.)
Make way for my Dating Representative, y’all. She’s virtually hairless and wears heels. It’s on.