Stephen Colbert can report from my pants

I am so aroused by this that I’m blushing while watching it at work. I’m actually uncomfortable and a little squirmy.

Shut up.

Colbert doesn’t get involved until about 3:10, but Jesus God, he’s, like, gasping and breathing heavy and I might need to go take care of a few things…with a mop…

Judging by my reaction to hearing it through headphones, if he got breathy even remotely near my ear in person, I would lose my goddamn mind. #truthiness

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