Ladies and gentlemen, my soulmate…

First OkCupid message from a man without a profile pic: “hi i am greg lets have dinner”

OMG! Greg! Absolutely, let me accept this invitation from a faceless man! Despite the fact that if you read my profile even a little, you’d see me say I’m sure as fuck not meeting a stranger without messaging and texting until I feel comfortable doing so. Especially one without a face.

Good work, Greg. In fact, forget about dinner — let’s move in together and have 14 babies right now. Do you want, like, a scripty font on the wedding invitations? I always think those are hard to read, so I think we should probably go with something a little more simple, right? I know Times Roman is basic, but I’m SUCH a sucker for it.

And, listen, my flowers are going to be dark purple with pops of white, so make sure the accents on your tux coordinate, OK, sweetie? Luuuv youuu.

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