“Oh, honey. We at Netflix know you’ve had a long, stupid workweek, and have a busy weekend ahead. We know you need to spend your scant free hours drinking irresponsibly, eating popcorn for dinner, and watching Gretchen Weiners find true love with the Lord’s guidance in a movie that looks like it was originally developed for Lifetime. No, wait — this has Hallmark Channel all over it. You go MST3K that shit, sweetie. You’ve earned it.”
I really hope she finds out how “fetch” Jesus is.
Or, as a friend said, “Maybe he makes her realize butt stuff doesn’t count.”