My mother, re: a woman on TV:
“She shouldn’t even be wearing that dress, because look at it around her chest, it’s pulling.”
Moments later:
“I would never buy that because it has horizontal stripes.”
“Some people like that, Mom.”
“Pfft. Skinny people…”
This is where I came from, you guys. I swear it’s a fucking miracle I can even leave my house.
Thankfully I have better influences now, though, because even in tight-around-my-chest horizontal stripes, my pudgy ass is adorable.
Smug Singleton 