Semi-approval from a porn fiend’s semi

From the Department of Things Normal People Just Know But I Had to Learn by Having My Day Ruined*: Don’t read online comments, SPECIFICALLY the ones on porn featuring women of a similar size/shape to you.

“Not bad for a chubby chick,” says some 45-year-old serial masturbator in his mother’s basement.

If I ever write a book, I want “Not bad for a chubby chick” to be the review blurb on the cover. Wait, actually…yeah, that’ll be the title.

If I may borrow from a Chris Rock bit: “Yeah, I got a gut — there’s some good pussy under this gut.” Can you say the same about your dick, Rando Calrissian?

* Kidding — my day can’t really be ruined by people who comment on porn.

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