Masturbation for my nation.

I’m watching Creed, but it’s hard to hear over my copious masturbation whenever I see Michael B. Jordan with his shirt off. I have such a lady boner for my country right now. He probably has patriotism in his pants. UNF — let freedom RING, y’all. 🇺🇸 

P.S. Hey, I grew up on that street! Or “shtreet,” I suppose, in keeping with the parlance of my people. #RespectTheJawn #EastCoastSwang

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