Email to Male BFF: “I need a ruling on behalf of your people: A guy sent me an OkCupid message Wednesday night. I was going to answer, and then I got anxious, and then I was going to answer, and then I got anxious, and now it’s almost a week later. How much of an asshole am I if I answer now? (Bear in mind there might be pussy at the end of this rainbow.)”
His response: “I wouldn’t be thrilled about a weeklong wait, but I’d be even less thrilled about no response. And pussy solves a lot of problems.”
P.S. I wish I could take credit for that rainbow line, but I stole it from a comedian named Christian Finnegan.