Too well-hung for me to hang

OkCupid shows you who’s looked at your profile. A 24-year-old dude just looked at mine, and his profile photo is of his hand holding his naked, sizable, penis. 

Not really sure what it says about me that I’m less offended by unsolicited naked dick than I am by the dirt under his fingernails or the mess in the room behind him.

I alternate thinking he’s ruined a delightful discovery the first time I unzip his pants and unfurl this thing, vs. really appreciating the advance notice about a cock that might actually break me in half.

“Too big! Your dick doesn’t end! Why doesn’t your dick end?”

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