Achievement unlocked: Took off bra while driving.
Fucking disloyal underwire. 🖕🏼
New life plan: Open my own therapy practice and call it Why You’re Like This.
First OkCupid message:
Again, though, thanks for the heads up about your mini-fetish. As someone who is also aurally fixated, I respect it. But you’re creepy about it, and you used emojis, and…no.
This feels like I’m being catfished by some pervy Ursula.
I need to start keeping better track of my menstrual cycle so I can at least see some reason in being a puffy, disgusting cheese monster.🧀👹🔪