Discreet skeet

I got a first OkCupid message from a man whose only profile photo is a fairly sizable, at-attention penis constrained by thin white cotton underwear.

The only part of his profile he bothered filling out was the “My self-summary,” under which he wrote only, “Discrete.”

*sigh* “Discreet,” sweetie. You’re looking for “discreet.”

“Discrete” is math. Don’t be math.

I guess if I’m allowing for there to be blood in his brain as well as in his penis, “discrete” can also mean “individually separate and distinct,” and its synonyms are “detached, unattached, disconnected.”

So maybe that IS the word he was looking for. In which case, well played, fellow commitment-phobe.

And hey, also? Way to grow a dick. Kudos, you should be proud of that thing.

But…nah, I’ll pass. If I put that in me, I’ll be rendered incapable of discretion no matter how you spell it. Probably best you don’t awaken that beast.