Y’all.
I am JUST in my regular doctor’s office, trying to get my sinuses un-fucked.
I wasn’t ready.
Y’all.
I am JUST in my regular doctor’s office, trying to get my sinuses un-fucked.
I wasn’t ready.
Eeewwww… Look, I can either focus on dinner OR vaguely threatening hairless douche-bros, but not both.
Feed me OR fuck me. My ADD can’t handle the multitask.
P.S. Fuck me first, so I don’t have to worry about birth control for food babies in addition to regular ones.
The dance instructor “YEAH”ed my ass maneuvering, so, fat be damned, I’ll take that as progress.
I felt OK about these workout pants when I bought them, but for some reason today I feel like I should wear them while on my own reality show called “My 600 Pound Lady Gut,” so… Yeah, good times! Let’s go to dance class and watch it all jiggle rhythmically!
P.S. I’m QUITE sure my salt & vinegar potato chip lunch and probable dehydration have nothing to do with this. Shut up.
Signing this for an office wedding shower. Nice work, Carlton Cards (and my rad, progressive workplace)! 💕🏳️🌈