Y’all.
I am JUST in my regular doctor’s office, trying to get my sinuses un-fucked.
I wasn’t ready.
Y’all.
I am JUST in my regular doctor’s office, trying to get my sinuses un-fucked.
I wasn’t ready.
Eeewwww… Look, I can either focus on dinner OR vaguely threatening hairless douche-bros, but not both.
Feed me OR fuck me. My ADD can’t handle the multitask.
P.S. Fuck me first, so I don’t have to worry about birth control for food babies in addition to regular ones.
The dance instructor “YEAH”ed my ass maneuvering, so, fat be damned, I’ll take that as progress.
I felt OK about these workout pants when I bought them, but for some reason today I feel like I should wear them while on my own reality show called “My 600 Pound Lady Gut,” so… Yeah, good times! Let’s go to dance class and watch it all jiggle rhythmically!
P.S. I’m QUITE sure my salt & vinegar potato chip lunch and probable dehydration have nothing to do with this. Shut up.
Signing this for an office wedding shower. Nice work, Carlton Cards (and my rad, progressive workplace)! 💕🏳️🌈
Ever see a photo of yourself and start making a to-do list for a plastic surgeon?
Ahem.
Yeah, me, neither…
I’ve always assumed Doritos were *already* for women — duh, they’re V-shaped. #LadyDoritos #SnatchSnacks
Today I had therapy, and we ended up with an exciting basis for NEXT week’s session, where we’re going to dive deeper into how 40+ years of coddling and condescension from everyone in my family could perhaps make me constantly doubt my capabilities as an adult, and affect my self-worth in all areas of life.
Awesome. Great. I’m SO glad I did this. 🙄
(I am, but…Christ. Originally I just went to therapy for some Breakup Krazy Glue, but ended up shattered six ways to Sunday. At least when my therapist starts writing groundbreaking articles about family insanity, maybe I’ll get royalties.)
(By the way, I am STILL very much on Team “Whatever Your Family Did, You’re an Adult, Handle Your Shit.*” But it turns out I just need some strategies to make that work as more than just bluster.)
(*Unless your family was LEGIT awful and not just underminey, in which case, obviously, you have the right.)
(Part of my damage is minimizing my damage because so many people have much worse damage.)