This is the online photo of another swimsuit I bought, and I texted a friend a photo of how it looked on me…
Me: “I’m sending this back. I don’t even know why I bought it. I’m gonna be standup paddleboarding and shit — I need something sportier. But damn, I look CUTE.”
Friend: “You look great and you should keep it and wear that shit every time you go near water.”
Here’s to friends who are more supportive than bathing suits. 🍸
I ordered swimsuits online so I could try them on and suffer privately, and perhaps call my therapist.
And I love knowing before I even open it that my breast is not fitting in there.
That’s adorable, though. You tried.
When Grubhub sends a free delivery code, you get to eat your feelings.
Sorry, Health, I don’t make the rules.
“My Friend Dahmer.”
…Gentlemen, please form an orderly queue.
We don’t talk nearly enough as a people about how sleep is the fucking BEST.
Texting a friend about my plans to do some home organization this weekend…