If there’s something weird that CAN happen with an ex-boyfriend, that weird thing is going to happen to me.
“Hey, what’s up, we never actually DATED 15 years ago, we just slept together, and never spoke again after I told you that needed to stop. But sure, by all means, send me a Facebook message request (because we’re not FB friends) that’s just the automated wave.”
I dated…SO many weirdos, you guys. And it’s ALWAYS the weirdos. No ex I WANT to hear from ever contacts me.
Also, I should mention that HIS WIFE has viewed my LinkedIn profile at least three times over the years. Maybe I’m in the running to be their guest star. (🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼!)
Smug Singleton 
So much to consider… but firstly, what is the societal significance of a Facebook ‘wave’? Is this the level-up evolution of the Facebook ‘poke’ but without the obvious sexual overtones (because honestly, folks, we all know what we were poking for…)? I imagine this as a half-hearted wave from across a digital bar, like “oh yeah, that’s right, you exist” and then you look back to your respective digital drinks.
Secondly (hold the phone, Gayle) exes exist that you WANT to hear from? You’re singlehandedly giving every dumped high school boyfriend renewed hope – what have you done?!
Eh, only a few. But thankfully I didn’t get any in high school, so…happy bonus, I suppose.
bullet dodged