I’m not 100% sure about this guy I’m about to message on OkCupid. If I’m being totally honest, he might be too smart and too chill for my silly, hyper ass.
But in his profile photo, he’s pouring shredded cheese into small, hollowed-out pumpkins to make individual fondue pots, and… well, people, my needs are simple.
While I was on vacation I got a message from this OkCupid gem.
He seems nice.
Oh, OK, this isn’t fucking weird at all.
Photo 1: My iPhone’s wallpaper.
Photo 2: The main profile photo of a dude who just messaged me on OkCupid.
“I’m just sayin’, this audiobook about sexual assault didn’t have enough laughs for me. And MAN, she talked SO much about sexual assault! What about the GOOD things in life, huh?!”
What the unwieldy hell?
(Hunger, if you wondered.)
Wait… just ONE?
Do I have to choose which one? That seems harsh — “Sorry, Righty. I’ll pray for you.”
I have questions.
I’ll be moving to a new apartment in a couple months, and my therapist asked if I’d want her to refer me to someone closer to the new place.
1. Now I think my therapist wants to get rid of me.
2. I said, “I don’t know, unless you think I don’t even NEED to be in therapy…?” and she raised her eyebrow damn near off her head, and I laughed, and she laughed, and so… yeah. Guess I’m gonna keep going.