The limit DOES exist.

I realize I’m ageist, but I think there’s an age limit for using the term “friends with benefits.” I haven’t pinpointed the specifics, but I think it’s before age 50.

I’m 40 and only say it jokingly. I also hate it, because at least half the people offering it want ONLY the benefits, but think they’ll have better luck with the LADIES if they dress it up with a cute little bow.

Theory: You can’t say “FWB” once you’re getting mail from the AARP. That’s…the rules of abbreviations.

Also, I don’t know if anyone said that phrase before Alanis Morissette, but that’s not what she meant, shitheel.

This reflection brought to you by a 54-year-old man on OkCupid, username “Just_Discreet_FWB,” sending me three messages in less than 24 hours, either not remembering or not caring that he’s messaged me twice before. I am clearly memorable. Either that or he’s just old and can’t keep track.

P.S. I’m not hating on 54. I’d get on 54. But THIS 54-year-old has the ick on him.