I win at sexy imagery.

New Lad just said he’s “picturing me in lingerie.”

Um, yeah, I’m wearing boxer shorts and a tank top, and perhaps even sexier (if that’s possible), am lying on my stomach on the living room floor, reading, and eating Kraft mac & cheese (that I added sour cream to for fanciness!) out of a giant bowl.

But by all means, you “picture” whatever you need to. I do promise lingerie when I see you, but I actually think I’m quite adorable right now. So nyah. (And yes, I also win at maturity.)