In which heavenly beings offer me imaginary contraception.

Tonight I went to a “mindful” yoga class, trying to relax and learn to be more present.

While lying back on a pile of pillows with our legs open, the instructor told us to imagine a divine being offering us a magical sponge to absorb our impurities.

My divine being was Angel from “Buffy,” and the sponge was contraceptive.

I think I did it wrong.

#spongeworthy

More Cherub. Less Angel.

Sometimes I wear Victoria’s Secret and feel like I could give a svelte blonde Angel a run for her wings.*

“You bettah WORK!”

*Other days I’ll wear it and feel like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, but we’re not focusing on that today.