I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my repeated spontaneous orgasm.
This morning on my way to work, I was letting my mind wander to the Bad Place, wherein I dwell on how thoroughly and painfully I’ve misjudged a given situation.
And then “Danger Zone” came on the radio. Ha ha ha — well played, Universe. I’ll refocus.
Lana: “Screw you, Mr. My-mother’s-a-lying-bitch-and-I’m-too-stupid-to-realize-my-life’s-a-pathetic-joke!”
Archer: “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hello-my-kid’s-from-a-sperm-bank-since-I-can’t-keep-a-man-because-in-addition-to-my-jillion-neuroses-I-have-a-weird-looking-vagina!”