Obviously the ice cream is the most important thing.

For those of you playing the home game:

• First sex ✔️
• First minor argument ✔️
• First minor argument resolved to my satisfaction (ie, I won) ✔️
• Ice cream ✔️

Going to the mattresses. Take that as you will…

Sure, OK. I’m at work, hopped up on coffee, haven’t eaten yet, hormonal, feeling other pressures about family and money issues…

This seems like a great time to argue with a male friend over email. That GOOD argue, too — the kind where you’re shaking with anger and feel like, if you were arguing in person, it might end up either in a fistfight or fornication.

Why the fuck not?

By the way, dude is fine, I’m the crazed one: What? WHAT? I wish a motherfucker WOULD say some shit.

P.S. What? Oh, it’s just me that has this issue? Well, shit…