Dirty Swedish birdies.

*snort* C’mon, Ikea… You did this on purpose. Now I NEED bottles that were “mouth blown by skilled artisans.”

How, pray, do I become a skilled mouth-blowing artisan? Professionally, I mean — obviously I’ve been dabbling in the craft for quite some time already on an organic, grassroots level. But I’d like to explore the option of going pro.