BTW, I have nothing against thin women. We are all lovely — sisterhood, rah rah, etc. I just enjoy the notion that BEING chubby CAUSES chubbies, that it’s part of evolution. That’s delightful. Good work, Science!
Also, I mean… I do like big butts. I cannot lie.
It kinda sucks that, according to this article, I’m wasting perfectly good childbearing hips by not procreating, but I’m kind of OK with that.
This probably doesn’t help my friends’ perceptions of me as an uptight, convent-raised prude. But I’m pretty sure I couldn’t get up on stage at the symphony and shake my ass around, Mix-a-Lot notwithstanding.
I guess it would be a great story: “OMG, Becky, remember that time we rolled up on stage at the orchestra and pseudo-twerked our flat, rhythmless asses for the amusement of a one-hit wonder from the ’90s?* Totes YOLO, amirite? Totes.”
Ugh. You’re at the SYMPHONY, not a goddamn bachelorette party at the Jersey shore. (Also, that girl DEFINITELY Cabbage Patched. Oh, honey…)
I think I’m just bitter that I ain’t gotta motor in the backa my Honda. His anaconda wouldn’t want none.
* “Put ‘Em on the Glass” was not a HIT. How dare you?