Dear David at the Barnes & Noble Café in Plymouth Meeting, PA,
I hadn’t been planning to masturbate tonight, but upon sight of you, now I realize I must. Thank you for your inspiration. You are my clitoral muse.
The Blushing Woman/Cold Brew & Scone
P.S. Couldn’t help but notice your finger didn’t have a ring on it. Those are my second favorite kinds of fingers. Give me a call, I’ll show you how we make ’em my first favorite.
EDIT: Goddammit! What a tragic waste of being asked, “Room for cream?”!