I see what you did there. The question is, do YOU?

Ahem…The spokesmodel for Aveeno skincare products, ladies and gentlemen.

Via Huffington Post:

“The objectification and scrutiny we put women through is absurd and disturbing … a reflection of how we see and portray women in general, measured against some warped standard of beauty. Sometimes cultural standards just need a different perspective so we can see them for what they really are — a collective acceptance… a subconscious agreement. We are in charge of our agreement. Little girls everywhere are absorbing our agreement, passive or otherwise. And it begins early. The message that girls are not pretty unless they’re incredibly thin, that they’re not worthy of our attention unless they look like a supermodel or an actress on the cover of a magazine is something we’re all willingly buying into. This conditioning is something girls then carry into womanhood. We use celebrity ‘news’ to perpetuate this dehumanizing view of females, focused solely on one’s physical appearance, which tabloids turn into a sporting event of speculation.”Screen Shot 2016-07-13 at 12.13.29 PM

 

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Sex on my face 

I got an email from Ulta, and one of the featured products is called “Better than Sex” mascara 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some terrible sex, and I’ve had some great mascara. But the sex has always been at least marginally superior, even if only because someone bought me food first. 

I considered that mascara has helped me GET sex by making me prettier, but I don’t think that’s true. Lipstick, maybe, but I’m fairly certain no man has ever looked at any woman’s eyelashes and decided not to fuck her. (“Dude, she’s SO hot. Those hips, that hair, that rack… But nah, I’m not going to go talk to her. Did you see her eyelashes?! Bitch, please.”) But hey, maybe I’m underestimating y’all as a gender. Maybe a plump set of…lashes really does it for you. 

However, I’m nothing if not thorough, so just as Nars Orgasm blush changed my life, I’ll clearly have to try this mascara. For, um, research. FOR SCIENCE.

Last re-blog today: Plus-Size Model Creates #EffYourBeautyStandards Movement

Get it, girl.

Via Buzzfeed: The Biggest Plus-Size Model To Get A Major Contract Created The #EffYourBeautyStandards MovementIMG_3811I’m gonna need that haircut, STAT, and all the makeup she has on, and also an eyebrow transplant. (Because, obviously, “You have really good eyebrows.”)

Ahem. This is what’s known as missing the point of a movement encouraging you to disregard standards of beauty.

Whatever, I left off the part where I also want a nosejob now. Oh, wait…