Putting the “me” in “meme”

I’m sure you’ve seen quite enough of this on your Facebook feeds this week, so I hate to add to the bullshit. But the combination of characters I thought of made me laugh.

“Describe yourself in three fictional characters…”

BeFunky Collage.jpg

What I Know for Sure: I Don’t.

Things I knew FOR SURE yesterday:
“I am taking a break from this blog and from OkCupid to focus on work and getting my life/health/goals in order. I will write about this break tomorrow night and that’ll be that.”

Things I know for sure today:
“I have a new blog follower (hi!), and received a free book I requested from a publisher so I can review it here. Also, I just saw a man on OkCupid who’s cute, tall, literate, and likes to play naughty in bed but was somehow both forthright and gentlemanly about it.”

Right, then. “Strike that. Reverse it.”

Just a tip, just to see how it feels

Pro tip: Women on dating sites LOVE being commanded by your first message to answer for their entire gender:

“Why is it that a truly interesting opening line such as ‘what were the last 3 books you’ve read’ goes ignored because it sounds like homework, a simple ‘hello’ is frowned upon, and asking someone to share a coffee without weeks of messages is seen as ‘too quick?’ Is there a mixed message command center I am unaware of?”

Well, first, you answered your own first question. Sure, you’re a douchebag for referring to your books question as “truly interesting,” because it’s not. But you’re right — some women might ignore it “because it sounds like homework.” *I* wouldn’t, if you’d just started with that, but instead you went with putting your anger issues right out there on Front St., so…no.

There ya go: Message un-mixed.

P.S. Last three books: Brain on Fire, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls, and The Noonday Demon. Now, see, that could in fact, have started a decent conversation, if you hadn’t put the “ass” in “alas.”