I’m bad in bed. Staying IN bed will help, no?

Lying in bed this morning, my brain wandered to that handjob song I posted yesterday, and then to my own sexual abilities, and now it doesn’t want to get out of bed in part because it’s telling me I’m terrible at sex and now I’m sad.

Um, brain? You do know we’re not a prostitute, right? Even if we ARE bad in bed, that’s not really gonna come (heh) into play during our workday. We probably will not be evaluated on sexual prowess today. And staying IN bed alone really isn’t going to help us improve. 

Please get up. We can lament being crap at sex once we’ve had coffee.

(What? This doesn’t happen to everyone?)

Mental breakthroughs via Anna Kendrick.

Holy shit, you guys. I heard that “Cups” song on my way into work, and I could finally leave it on and sing along, instead of changing the station and feeling sad because I associate it with a boy who, alas, did NOT miss me when I was gone.

PROGRESS. BITCHES.

Thanks, Brain!

And thank YOU, Anna Kendrick. Nothing personal, you are glorious. I want to be deadpan bestie bunnies with you.  

“Do you think we can get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?”

Dear Brain,

Blame hormones all you want, but you’re being a bitch, and you need to stop. Bitchy is not fixing that situation. Nothing is fixing that situation except letting it go. Stop trying to make “fetch” happen.

No Love,
Logic