Smug is back with a brand-new invention.

So…hi. This is awkward. 

I shut this page down when I was laid off in September. (“I am not getting laid; therefore, I am getting laid off.” —Carrie Bradshaw.) I had more pressing priorities, like finding a job and wallowing in my personal failures.

But then… I’m not a HUGE believer in “signs from the universe,” but we do seem to be shushing female senators, and I do seem to be getting fatter, and Valentine’s Day does seem to be tomorrow, and women’s magazines do seem to be alternating cutting-edge journalism/hilar-balls sex headlines, and the President of the United States does seem to be tweeting about easy D, and y’all KNOW I can’t keep my mouth shut around some easy D, so…OK! CHRIST!

So here I am. Let’s see how this goes.

I’ve HAD this conversation.

Carrie: “So, what’s the problem?”
Miranda: “He said, ‘I think you’re very sexy.'”
Carrie: “And?”
Miranda: “I was wearing no makeup and my Hanes $3 old-man’s undershirt.”
Carrie: “Nice!”
Miranda: “I just can’t believe that a guy would think that I was sexy.”
Carrie: “OK, I’m hanging up now.”
Miranda: “No, I’m serious. Smart, yes. Sometimes cute, but never sexy. Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.”
Carrie: “You win men over with your personality?”

OK, I’ll go, but we all know how this ends…

I’m far too amused by the fact that I have a date to see the Carrie remake on a day when the only thing I really feel like doing is staying home and being menstrual.