I scream, you scream, we all scream, “You’re an asshole!”

*sigh* Just…just… UGH. Go fuck yourself, seriously. Hard. With one of the scarier, more invasive dildos.

I don’t give a single kitten’s dick who you’re voting for — no one would have asked a man that question. No one.

Hmm… OK, wait, MAYBE someone would’ve asked Chris Christie. And whoever did would still be a total fucking asshole. But I’d wager they wouldn’t, because Christie probably could and would slap the Massengill outta ya for that kinda bullshit.

A friend of mine had a better reaction: “If you watch closely, there’s a split second where she turns and looks at someone who clearly GETS IT and her face just says, ‘FUCK THESE ASSHOLES. FUCK THE PATRIARCHY.’ At least, that’s what *I* saw. Then she visibly squared herself to take on the bullshit sexism of the world and had another bite of her fucking sundae.”  

A plea for smarter sexism

Much like the people who make disgusting jokes about Chris Christie’s weight, we need to knock THIS shit right the hell off.

I’m not even following this clusterfuck election closely. But I know there are plenty of joke-WORTHY aspects of Hillary’s campaign without resorting to easy blowjob jokes from a nearly 20-year-old scandal during her HUSBAND’S administration. And I say this as a supporter of the easy blowjob joke. I just like the jokes to be, um…FUNNY.

How are we STILL slut-shaming a woman who made a bad call at age 22, or attacking Hillary for it, rather than placing the blame on Bill Clinton’s raggedy cheating ass? I know there was plenty of that at the time, and maybe there are Internet memes to that effect now. I just happened to see this today, and have seen others like it, and they flip my bitch switch.

Sure, Hillary’s potentially bringing that philandering fuck back to the White House with her, but what do I care where HIS cock has been if SHE’S President? If he’s off banging interns, that’s more time for her to get shit done without him trying to hillbilly-man-splain international affairs. (Because clearly he’s more concerned with domestic ones — HEY-O!)

I guess because none of these dipshits are going to fix ANYTHING, EVER, maybe it’s just all one big joke at this point. But damn…get better jokes.

P.S. Donald Drumpf is the exception. Please let us all continue joking about him. Hair. Voice. Delusion. Have at it.

Chris Christie and the Curious Incident of the Lazy Fat Joke

Yup. This. There are a million other things you could joke about. Going after his weight is just lazy. It’s the easy joke when you can’t think of anything intelligent to say, like when I talk shit on the Mets like I know dick about baseball.

And fuck everyone who makes me defend this motherfucker, by the way. It’s like that time I had to write about the dipshits who criticized Snooki’s body “post-baby.” C’mon, man. That’s not the way I prefer to feel dirty.

~

“And this offends you as a Jewish person?”

“No, it offends me as a comedian!”

— Seinfeld