Amanda Seales on dating:
“I’m a grown-up woman. I’m lookin’ at every dick like the side of a cereal box — I wanna know your nutritional value. Are you exceeding my daily recommended dose of fuckboi?”
If you haven’t watched this, you should.
Tonight in therapy: “It’s bad enough my favorite comedians are being outed as molest-y weirdos, but it’s also really fucking up my Spotify lists.”
I feel like my well-rested face and disposable income convey this well enough, and yet I DO love me a shiny trinket…
(I should clarify that none of the parents I know personally look tired.)
It’s an almost impressively bold choice to be a man seeking a woman on a dating site and still list Bill Cosby among the favorite comedians in your profile.
“Your in-laws will be like, ‘Say, when are you gonna give us some grandkids?’ And they might as well say, ‘Say, when are you gonna start finishing inside our daughter?'”
I said something similar to my father once. That was the last time he asked.
This is a Nerdist podcast of Chris Hardwick’s latest standup special. I’m sure you can see/hear it online/on TV; I just happen to have found the podcast first.
Normally the Internet is one of my favorite things, but sometimes it can be kind of an asshole.
Like when I ask Amazon to send me a book about being child-free because it’s written by a comedian I’m currently obsessed with (Jen Kirkman — ladies, go watch her Netflix special. Gentlemen, sorry, no guarantees). So I’m mostly reading it because it’s a book by a funny woman — I’d read whatever book she wrote, but this one happens to be about not having kids.
But then Amazon’s all, “Oh, hey! I see you like books about being a Barreness. HERE ARE 600 MORE books about it!”
I’m good, Amazon, really. I don’t need THAT much support. Thanks, though.
(My personal favorite was when I bought the clutter book, and Amazon was like, “Would you like us to send you a shit-ton of other books about clutter?” YOU’RE NOT HELPING, AMAZON!)
Smug Singleton 