When your relatives ask when you’re gonna let a guy come in you…

“Your in-laws will be like, ‘Say, when are you gonna give us some grandkids?’ And they might as well say, ‘Say, when are you gonna start finishing inside our daughter?'”

I said something similar to my father once. That was the last time he asked.

This is a Nerdist podcast of Chris Hardwick’s latest standup special. I’m sure you can see/hear it online/on TV; I just happen to have found the podcast first.

In which Amazon offers unnecessary support to my vacant uterus. 

Normally the Internet is one of my favorite things, but sometimes it can be kind of an asshole.

Like when I ask Amazon to send me a book about being child-free because it’s written by a comedian I’m currently obsessed with (Jen Kirkman — ladies, go watch her Netflix special. Gentlemen, sorry, no guarantees). So I’m mostly reading it because it’s a book by a funny woman — I’d read whatever book she wrote, but this one happens to be about not having kids.

But then Amazon’s all, “Oh, hey! I see you like books about being a Barreness. HERE ARE 600 MORE books about it!”

I’m good, Amazon, really. I don’t need THAT much support. Thanks, though.

(My personal favorite was when I bought the clutter book, and Amazon was like, “Would you like us to send you a shit-ton of other books about clutter?” YOU’RE NOT HELPING, AMAZON!)