Treatment for attention-deficit-dating disorder

Fourth date today, y’all.

Here’s to my interest in someone finally lasting longer than my manicure.

Date data

I wasn’t sure if I had a “date” this weekend, since the meek-ass bullshit email I sent him only said “hang out” and he hasn’t used definitive words in our texts, so hey, maybe for him we’re just hanging out as friends.

But he just said I’m pretty, so…

Heeeeeeeee…

I have a date. 😊

I probably won’t end up naked, though.

I’m certainly not the first to observe this, but going to a job interview is like going on a first date.

Like, “This, right here? The smooth, curled hair and the makeup and the dress and the tights? Yeah, I will NEVER look like this when shit gets real.”

I should be able to interview in jeans and a plain white t-shirt, with wet-from-the-shower hair tossed up in a half-ass ponytail, wearing sunscreen and Chapstick as makeup. That is how I will look if I work for/date you.*

It’s like Chris Rock said: “You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting THEM — you’re meeting their representative!”