You said it, not me.

Sooo… You’re saying your plan is a padded room?


Attention-deficit/hypersensitivity disorder

At the end of his first OkCupid message, responding to a particular line in my profile, a man asked, “Why don’t you like Cuddling?”

Um, why don’t YOU like boundaries, fuckface? All the other things I said, you’re gonna start in with some shit right off the top?

I have things to DO, sir. I don’t have time for cuddling (or, in fact, “Cuddling”).

Ahem… See, this is why I don’t actually date, but DO go to therapy.

(In defense of my intimacy issues, what I actually SAID is, “I’m not a big fan of cuddling.” I have ADD, dude — I get bored.)

Dry, Eagles, Dryyy

I MAY have been OkCupid ghosted because I told the guy I didn’t watch the Eagles playoff game last weekend.

Which, you know…that’s fine. Enjoy waiting for the Eagles to wet your dick.

Caught in a Bad “Modern Romance”

The whole Aziz Ansari thing has brought up a lot of weird shit for me, because I know I’ve let things happen I didn’t want to, for a lot of different reasons, and the men couldn’t possibly have known I wasn’t into it, because I pretended to be. And I would never blame them for that.

That said, this woman is saying she made it clear, verbally and non, that she wanted to slow things down. And so I do blame him.

THAT said, I DID wonder why she didn’t leave, even having BEEN in similar situations where I ALSO didn’t leave, and I wasn’t even with a famously “woke” comedian who’s literally written a book on “Modern Romance.”

This sums it up.

Complacently Ever After

Part of why I’m OK being single (for the most part*), and part of why I’m in therapy, is the relationships I see in my family. I realize I can only go by what I see, but what I see is people who would rather be kind of…dulled and resentful in a relationship than be alone. Especially my mother and sister, I really don’t hear them LIKING their spouses. I’m often their sounding board for all their relationship “squabbles” that to me sound like much larger issues, and that was BEFORE I started therapy.

(* Not even gonna front — I’d really enjoy some sex, and I have a big, heavy mirror I can’t lift, so I could use some assistance there. But otherwise, I’m aight.)

Anyway. All this to say that I’m grateful for the men I know, and for the relationships I’ve had. Because I’ve never dated anyone shitty for more than a couple months, and I was quickly able to see, “Oh, you’re shitty. We’re done here.” I’ve never had to prattle on for an hour straight about all the things my boyfriend doesn’t do to my liking, or found myself unable to address issues WITH a boyfriend and have him at least try to understand. And I think that’s partly because I KNOW there ARE decent dudes out there. I’ve dated them, I’ve worked with them, my friends have married them. And I’m (mostly*) fine being alone until one arrives in my life.

It’s been kind of a shit year for men, and rightly so, but hey, here’s to the good ones, eh?🍸

Live by the Golden Rule…unless it’s funny not to.

I am generally against sharing OkCupid usernames and photos, and I try not to do it, and whenever I do, I always feel bad, because I wouldn’t want anyone sharing MINE.

That said… I’m not even sure what to make of this combination of things, but it amused me.

Possibly because this is MOST DEFINITELY what Jesus would do?

Discounted snacks v. discounted dating

It probably speaks volumes about my romantic future that today I received email coupons from both OkCupid and Grubhub, and deleted the OKC one without reading it, but hopped on that Grubhub shit like white on rice. (Especially since I used it to order Indian food, so literal white rice is forthcoming. As is my true soulmate, paneer.)